Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I Like Smoked Butts and I Cannot Lie.

The Gaping Maw[Ben et Nate sez]: We like pork. There, we said it. And yes, Nate is a Jew.
But that doesn't mean that he isn't going to put Babe on a spit and roast him till he falls off the bone in a blaze of tender, juicy, porky glory.

So here's the deal: Ben figured out that smoked meat was one of the finest things on sliced bread, and he made this absolutely amazing pork shoulder last year. So when we'd had way too many helpings of sweet sticky rice, and were sick of eating all that perfect, delicious, I'll never-ever get sick of that Thai food, we talked about smoking the eating hell out of a massive piece of pork, and stuffing our faces with it.

So we did. And it was delicious.

Here's what's necessary to experience the quintessential American barbecue:
Smoky McPork
  1. A massive Pork Butt (that's shoulder you perverts)
  2. Seven Hours of your life
  3. A grill, and some appropriate smoking hardwood.
  4. The desire to eat till your sinuses fill up, and your BPFL (Blood Pork Fat Level) exceeds the legal limit of .1 or .08 percent (depends on your local lipid regulations).

This is yet another food (like Ramen Jiro) that elicits the famed heroin reaction. We believe this is caused by a full body pork contact - at the ramen shop, you have to wait for 45 minutes, then slip around a floor covered in grease, and then wipe up your greasy splash with a towel when you're finished. Pulling My MeatSimilarly, you have to lovingly tend to this massive hunk of Babe for 7 freaking hours, and then let it rest for 15 minutes, and then take 30 minutes pulling the bloody thing apart with a couple of forks, and then dressing it, and getting it to the table - all without devouring the entire thing in the process.

It's harder than you think.

So grab a toasted bun, your favorite barbecue sauce, a couple of fresh brews, and splooge yourself sideways. If there's one thing you do this summer, smoke your meat.


Robyn said...

PPPOOOORRRRKK!!!!!!!! It's beaautifulll.

I'm too lazy to smoke my own meat. But I will eat it! Yeah! Because that doesn't take much effort.

Anonymous said...

Dry rub, brine, marinade? What did you do? Details man, details!

Caley said...

Yummy! Just stumbled across your blog compliments of tastespotting. I'm a big fan of slow-cooking pork butt in apple cider. But yeah, i second the call for details!
My pork-luvin blog post: